The Comeback Kid

**Disclaimer, since I know some stop by, and will take all words seriously: this is in no way relating to any of my relatives, nor is it meant to be taken seriously. It is simply to inject some light humor in to the holiday season for the singletons. Please do not kill me, or give me death glares, when I see you over the holidays. Hasta pronto**

Ah yes, the holiday season has started and you’re entering them single, once again. It’s that time of year when relatives gather, family’s catch-up, and the inevitable questions about your dating status somehow always find their way to the dinner table. It usually starts with a relative saying


“So honey, do you have a boyfriend yet,” like it’s expected of you. Of course everyone stops eating and talking to find this out because they weren’t brave enough to ask it themselves.

If you do, good for you! You have successfully avoided the awkward moment that follows this question and can continue to have a wonderful conversation about him with your relative while the rest of the family goes back to eating and talking.

If you don’t, and you say you don’t, your response is usually met with:

a) A look like you’ve suddenly grown a third head
b) A sad “you’ve-failed-at-life” kind of look
c) An awkward “oh” and a sudden change of subject or exit from a room
OR
d) A combination of all three

Because you see, to this tactless relative it doesn’t matter that say for example: you studied abroad in Spain after saving money for years; it doesn’t matter that you have discovered what you’d like to do with your life/career in the future; it doesn’t matter that your first ever news article got published in your college paper, nor does it matter that you are now writing for them on a regular basis. It doesn’t matter that you’re meeting tons of new people while managing to work with your clubs, have a social life and control your workload; or that you’ve had an awesome interview; gotten a job; received a promotion or volunteered somewhere; nor does it matter that you’re almost done with school, or looking for an internship, and the fact that you’re doing a damn good job in your hardest classes ever is unimportant. All that matters to this tactless relative is that you don’t have a boyfriend for yet another year.

So, here are some comebacks that I’ve thought up, please feel free to write your own:

“Oh yes, his name is Hank, he just got out of prison and we’re looking at a wedding date sometime next year. Of course it will be after he goes through his anger management classes…”

“Oh yes, who knew that boring lecturers could be so interesting outside of the classroom.”

“Oh yes, who knew that [insert ridiculous age here]-year-olds knew so much.”

“No, but my girlfriend’s pretty nice.”

“No, but he’s going to be out on probation in June.”

“No, but I’ve decided to throw away my college education and become a nun after I graduate.”

Or my personal favorite, which is a quote from Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses, paraphrased of course to fit the situation:

“No, but then I think of all the hot hate sex that I can have and everything seems to be better somehow.” (Wouldn’t that just give them all a heart attack?)

Now, if only I was brave enough to use them.

We’ll make it through this my fellow singletons, and we’ll have a blast, possibly more than others, celebrating in style! And hey, who says love isn’t possible along the way? Enjoy your holidays, and travel safely!

Until Next Time,

Avery